No More Shame

Today is a good day to say goodbye to shame and disgrace.
People are going to change their attitude towards you.
They are going to wake up and realise their attitude was the wrong one.
They have dreams and you have dreams.
Their dreams are no more important than your dreams.
Who do they think they are?
Everyone has a right to follow their dream.
And what is your dream?
Your dream is to live completely free from shame and disgrace.
How are you going to do that, when the results of your mistakes are in front of you?
Easy really.
You have to acknowledge that you are responsible for half your problems.
That’s right, 50% of your problems are your fault.
Now lets blame everyone else for the other 50%.
Feels good already, doesn’t it?
You just got rid of half the blame.

for true wisdom has two sides.
Job 11:6

There are always two sides to every story.
Yes, the proportion varies, but there are still two sides.
Everyone is half right and half wrong at the same time.
Sometimes people are 1% right and 99% wrong.
If there are two people involved then there are two versions of the same story.

Let me add one little rule.
This is the rule, “There are always exceptions.”
We can allow exceptions from time to time.
Generous people always do.

The shame and disgrace that you are experiencing may be all your fault or none of your fault.

But most of the time you have played a part and someone else has played a part.

If you have a body that is causing you problems then that is not of your fault.

So let’s define what sort of shame and disgrace are we focusing on today?
We are focusing on the shame and disgrace that has come from your actions or decisions.
At this very moment you may be blaming yourself completely or blaming other people completely?

Remember true wisdom has two sides.
Every story has two sides.
Your story has two sides.

Imagine you are dead and everyone is at your funeral.
Everyone at your funeral will be saying nice things about you even if you are a murderer.
Your family will be saying things like,

“He isn’t the monster that he appears to be.
He was a nice boy and was very friendly.”

Why wait for your funeral to hear people say nice things about yourself.
If you quieten down and ignore the negative voices for a moment you will hear some positive words from your supporters.
Yes, there is a voice right now telling you the positive side.
Remember there are exceptions, but the truth is, no-one is all bad.
The other side to that statement is.
There is no-one who is all good.
There is good and bad in every human on this planet.
Sometimes the bad is very high and other times the good is very high.

So here is my main point.

Admit to yourself that it is impossible that you are 100% bad.
Then start to see your story from both sides.
Now you are approaching the situation in a balanced and wise way.

I started this message with these words.

“Today is a good day to say goodbye to shame and disgrace.
People are going to change their attitude towards you.
They are going to wake up and realise their attitude was the wrong one.”

Why are people going to change their attitude towards you?

Because you are going to change your attitude towards yourself.

You are now waking up to the fact that your negative thoughts have been winning the battle.
All you need is, for one positive thought to introduce reasonable doubt.
And the case that your negative thoughts were presenting has suddenly got holes in it.
You are not as bad as they were saying.
You are not as guilty as they were saying.
Your negative thoughts have overplayed their hand and now you realise they were blowing things out of proportion.

Your positive thoughts now have an opportunity to present the other side of the story.
The side that sticks up for you.
The side that sets out to make you a good person, no matter what you have done.
Shame and disgrace are punishing feelings that can shut you down and cause you to run and hide.

Here is my final point, please consider it carefully.

Bad people, really bad people… do not feel shame or disgrace for their actions.
They have no conscience.
The fact that you actually feel ashamed means that you are not a bad person.
Therefore if you are not a bad person.
You must be a good person.

There must be more good in you than bad.
This does not fix every problem that you have.
But it will stop you believing wrongly.

Remember bad people feel no remorse.
They do not feel ashamed or sorry.
If you have these feelings, do not see them as bad feelings.
The real message behind shame and disgrace is.
You are normal and those feelings are natural.
They are there to help you become a better person.

Now you can change your attitude towards yourself.
Become the leader you have always wanted to be.
A person who is held up as an example.
Someone, somewhere out there, loves you and supports you.
Believe it.

Tony Egar

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