Part of the series: Faith in Every Chapter — New Testament Sermon Series
Series Intro: This post is Part 3 of Faith in Every Chapter, a 260-day journey through every chapter of the New Testament, unearthing the specific message of faith and living truth in each one.
If you were hiring a public speaker, PR consultant, or church strategist today, John the Baptist would fail every interview.
By almost any human standard of communication, marketing, or personal presentation, John got nearly everything wrong. Yet, Matthew 3 tells us that “Jerusalem and all Judea and the whole region of the Jordan went out to him” (Matthew 3:5). People streamed into the dry, desolate desert just to hear him speak.
Why did a man who seemed to do so much wrong attract such an overwhelming response?
Because John got one supreme thing right: he developed a genuine, uncompromised spiritual message that lined up perfectly with God’s Word—and the human heart will always hunger for a true spiritual message.
5 Things John the Baptist Did “Wrong”
If we judge John by conventional wisdom, his approach to ministry was a complete disaster:
He Dressed Badly: He didn’t dress to impress or fit in. He wore rough clothes made of camel’s hair with a leather belt around his waist (Matthew 3:4).
He Had a Strange Diet: He didn’t host banquets or share meals with potential supporters. He lived on locusts and wild honey in the wilderness.
He Chose the Worst Location: He didn’t set up in the town square, the synagogue, or the center of Jerusalem. He preached out in the barren desert.
He Insulted His Audience: When the influential religious leaders arrived, he didn’t flatter them or use diplomatic language. He called them a “brood of vipers” (Matthew 3:7).
His Message Was Uncomfortable: He didn’t preach a soft, feel-good message designed to make people feel comfortable in their habits. He preached repentance, accountability, and impending judgment.
From a human standpoint, John did everything necessary to alienate people. Yet, the crowds kept coming.
The One Thing John Got Right
John understood a fundamental truth about humanity: People are tired of superficial fluff; they are searching for reality.
John didn’t offer religious entertainment, clever rhetoric, or personal charm. What he offered was a pure spiritual message aligned with the Bible.
Matthew notes that John was the fulfillment of the prophet Isaiah’s words: “A voice of one calling in the wilderness, ‘Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for him'” (Matthew 3:3).
When a message is backed by the authority of God’s Word and delivered with genuine spiritual conviction, people will bypass polished presentations and travel into the desert to hear it.
How Did John Develop This Message?
How does someone cultivate a message with that kind of spiritual weight and staying power? Matthew 3 reveals two vital keys to John’s ministry:
1. He Cared More About God’s Approval Than Man’s Opinion
John was completely free from the fear of man. He didn’t craft his sermons by checking what was popular, what would avoid offense, or what would win him social status.
Because he was satisfied in God, he had no need to flatter men. He cared infinitely more about what Heaven thought of him than what the crowds or the religious elite thought of him.
Key Insight: A faith that depends on human approval will always compromise its message. True spiritual authority begins when pleasing God becomes your single priority.
2. He Delivered an Honest Warning About Judgment
The core of John’s message was urgent: “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near” (Matthew 3:2).
He warned his listeners that appearing religious wasn’t enough. He told them that “the axe is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire” (Matthew 3:10).
John didn’t preach judgment out of malice; he preached it out of faithfulness and love. A true doctor doesn’t hide a dangerous diagnosis to spare a patient’s feelings. John gave a clear, honest warning about eternity so his listeners would flee to the grace and salvation found in Jesus Christ.
What This Means for Our Faith Today
John’s ministry in the wilderness leaves us with an essential question for our own journey of faith: What kind of message are we relying on?
Relying on External Appearance: It is easy to spend all our energy trying to look right, say the smooth thing, and gain the approval of people around us, while having very little spiritual substance inside.
Cultivating Inner Reality: John shows us that when you spend time alone with God, anchor yourself in Scripture, and value God’s truth over human applause, your life carries a spiritual weight that touches others.
People are not ultimately changed by polished personalities or superficial promises. They are changed when they encounter the unfiltered truth of God’s Word.
A Prayer for Spiritual Substance
A Prayer to Live for God’s Approval
“Heavenly Father, forgive me for the times I have cared more about what people think of me than what You think of me.
Deliver me from the trap of seeking human applause and trying to fit in with the world. Give me the courage to stand firmly on Your Word, even when it is unpopular or uncomfortable.
Help me to cultivate genuine spiritual substance in my secret life with You. Search my heart, call me to true repentance where I have strayed, and use my life to point others clearly to Jesus Christ.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Conclusion: The Voice That Points to Christ
John the Baptist never tried to draw attention to himself. His entire purpose was to prepare hearts for someone greater: “After me comes one who is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry” (Matthew 3:11).
John did almost everything “wrong” according to the world’s playbook, but because his message was rooted in God’s truth, God used him to shake an entire nation.
When we stop worrying about human approval and start standing faithfully on God’s Word, our lives become a voice in the wilderness—pointing a searching world directly to the Savior.
Faith in Every Chapter — New Testament Sermon Series
This sermon is part of a journey through all 260 chapters of the New Testament, exploring the message of faith in each one.
When God provides, guides, and opens a way to move
Have you ever wondered whether you are living in the right place?
Perhaps you live in a country where you no longer feel safe. Perhaps your town has become too expensive, your neighbourhood has changed, or your family is living under pressures that seem impossible to escape. You may have been thinking about moving for years, but you cannot see how you could afford it or where you would go.
Sometimes we assume that if God wants us to move, he will make everything obvious. We expect a clear answer, enough money, and a perfect opportunity before we take a step.
But Matthew 2 tells us a different kind of story.
Joseph and Mary had to move their family to protect the child Jesus. They received provision from an unexpected source. They received guidance about where to go. They had the ability to move, and when circumstances changed, Joseph was willing to change his plans.
Their story reminds us that finding a safe place to live may involve more than waiting for our circumstances to improve. It may require us to recognise the provision available to us, seek guidance, and be willing to move when the time comes.
Could the God who guided Joseph and Mary also help people today as they search for a safer place to live?
Let’s explore what Matthew 2 teaches us.
1. Provision can come from an unexpected source
Matthew 2 begins with visitors arriving from the East to find the child Jesus. They had seen his star and travelled to worship him.
When they found Jesus with Mary, they presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.
These visitors were not members of Joseph and Mary’s immediate family. They were not the people we might naturally expect to provide for them. They came from another place, with knowledge and resources that Joseph and Mary could not have arranged for themselves.
Yet their visit became an important part of the story.
Soon afterwards, Joseph received a warning in a dream that Herod was searching for the child to destroy him. Joseph was told to take Jesus and Mary and escape to Egypt.
Matthew does not explicitly say that the gifts were given to finance their journey. However, it is reasonable to wonder whether these valuable gifts helped the family meet the costs of their unexpected move.
Whatever their precise role in the journey, the gifts remind us that provision can arrive through people and circumstances we did not anticipate.
Think about how this might apply to someone searching for a safe place to live.
A family may believe that moving to another town is impossible because they do not have enough money. Then a relative offers them temporary accommodation. An employer offers a job in another city. A friend knows someone who is looking for a tenant. A community organisation helps with relocation costs.
The answer may come through an opportunity that was not part of the original plan.
Sometimes we become so focused on the resources we lack that we fail to recognise the resources already becoming available.
We say, “I cannot move because I do not have enough money.”
But perhaps a better question is, “What provision might be available that I have not yet considered?”
This is not a promise that money will always appear when we need it. Joseph and Mary faced a unique situation in the story of Jesus, and we cannot assume that every person will receive the same kind of provision.
Nevertheless, their experience encourages us to remain open to unexpected help.
If you are considering a move, look beyond your immediate circumstances. Investigate employment opportunities, affordable housing, family support, community assistance, and the possibility of starting somewhere new.
Pray for wisdom, but also look carefully at the opportunities in front of you.
Sometimes the first step towards a safe place is recognising that the provision you need may come from a source you had not considered.
2. Guidance may come when you need to change direction
Matthew 2:13 tells us that after the visitors had departed, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream.
The message was urgent: he was to get up, take the child and his mother, and escape to Egypt because Herod was going to search for the child.
Joseph was not simply given general encouragement to trust God. He received specific guidance about what to do next.
He was told to leave, to take his family with him, and to go to another country.
Notice that the guidance involved practical action.
Joseph could not protect his family merely by agreeing with the message. He had to respond to it.
This is an important distinction. Sometimes we pray for God to make our present circumstances better when the next step may be to consider a different set of circumstances altogether.
We may pray for peace in a place where we are continually exposed to danger. We may pray for financial relief while remaining in a location where our income can no longer meet our basic needs. We may ask God to improve a situation without considering whether we should leave it.
There are times when staying and working through difficulties is the right decision. There are other times when moving is a sensible and necessary response.
How do we know which applies to us?
Matthew 2 does not give us a formula that guarantees a supernatural message about every move. Joseph’s dream was a particular revelation within the story of Jesus. We should not assume that every thought, dream, coincidence, or opportunity is a direct instruction from God.
But we can learn from Joseph’s willingness to seek and follow guidance.
We can pray for wisdom. We can examine the facts. We can listen to people who understand our situation. We can consider the risks of staying and the practical possibilities of leaving.
We can ask questions such as:
Is my family genuinely safe where we are living?
Can we afford to remain here?
Are there better opportunities for work, housing, or support somewhere else?
What would happen if we stayed for another year?
What would we need to do to make a move safely and responsibly?
Faith does not require us to ignore these questions. It gives us a reason to seek wisdom rather than surrendering to fear or assuming that nothing can change.
Sometimes guidance does not mean discovering how to make our present situation work. It means discovering which direction to take next.
3. The ability to move can be part of God’s provision
Matthew 2:14 says that Joseph got up during the night, took the child and his mother, and left for Egypt.
Imagine what that meant.
Joseph and Mary had already experienced an extraordinary beginning to their family life. They had travelled to Bethlehem, welcomed Jesus, and received the visitors who came to worship him.
Now they had to leave.
They were not moving because they had found a more attractive house or wanted a change of scenery. They were moving because remaining where they were could put Jesus in danger.
Their ability to move became essential to protecting their family.
We sometimes think of provision only as money, food, or a place to sleep. But the ability to change our circumstances can itself be an important resource.
Being physically able to travel, having the documents needed to relocate, having relatives who can help, being able to find work elsewhere, or having someone willing to drive us to safety can all make a difference.
For one person, a safe place may be found in another country. For another, it may be a different town. For someone else, moving a few suburbs away may be enough to find more affordable housing, a better school, a safer neighbourhood, or a supportive community.
Not everyone needs to make a dramatic change. Sometimes a relatively small move can make a significant difference.
Consider the person who has spent years believing that their present location is their only option.
They may say, “My whole life is here. I cannot start again.”
But is that necessarily true?
Perhaps their children are older now. Perhaps a new job has become available. Perhaps they have relatives in another town. Perhaps the cost of living is forcing them to reconsider their arrangements.
The first step may be to allow themselves to consider a possibility they previously dismissed.
Joseph could not protect Jesus by pretending that nothing had changed. He had to respond to the danger in front of him.
In the same way, we should not confuse faithfulness with remaining in one place regardless of what happens.
There may be good reasons to stay, and moving can bring its own difficulties. But where a move is practical and necessary, we should not automatically treat the idea of leaving as a failure.
Sometimes the opportunity to move is not a distraction from God’s provision. It may be one of the practical means by which a person finds safety.
4. Sometimes we need to change our plans at the last minute
One of the most interesting features of Matthew 2 is that Joseph’s plans did not remain fixed.
After the family escaped to Egypt, they stayed there until Herod died. Then an angel appeared to Joseph in a dream, telling him to take the child and his mother back to the land of Israel.
Joseph responded and began the journey home.
But the story did not end there.
When Joseph learned that Archelaus was ruling in Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there. After receiving further guidance in a dream, he withdrew to the region of Galilee and settled in a town called Nazareth.
Look at the sequence of events.
First, Joseph and his family had to leave for Egypt.
Later, they were told to return to Israel.
Then, because of the danger associated with the new ruler, Joseph changed direction again and settled in Galilee.
Joseph did not treat his first destination as an unchangeable commitment. He remained responsive to the circumstances and guidance he encountered along the way.
This is a valuable lesson for anyone trying to find a safe place to live.
We may begin with one plan and later discover that it will not work.
Perhaps the town we intended to move to has become too expensive. Perhaps the job we expected to obtain is no longer available. Perhaps a relative who offered accommodation can no longer help. Perhaps new information reveals that the neighbourhood we were considering is not suitable for our family.
We have a choice.
We can insist on following our original plan because we have already invested so much time and effort in it, or we can admit that the situation has changed and consider another option.
Changing plans is not necessarily a sign that we lacked faith in the first place.
Sometimes it is a sign that we are paying attention.
Joseph’s story also challenges the idea that a person must know the entire journey before taking the first step. Joseph did not have a complete map of everything that would happen to his family. He responded to the guidance and circumstances that arose.
We may need to do something similar.
We might initially plan to move overseas, only to discover that moving to another state is more realistic. We might plan to leave our town, then find that a different suburb offers the employment and housing we need. We might arrange temporary accommodation before deciding where we can afford to settle permanently.
A flexible plan can be more useful than a perfect plan that leaves no room for new information.
Of course, changing direction should not mean making reckless decisions. When possible, we should check the facts, consider the consequences, and protect the people who depend on us.
But we should not let embarrassment or stubbornness prevent us from reconsidering a decision.
A safe future may depend not only on making a good plan, but also on being willing to change it when circumstances demand it.
5. Your safe place may be somewhere you have never considered
Joseph and Mary went to Egypt, then returned to Israel, and finally settled in Nazareth.
Their story reminds us that the place where we begin is not necessarily the place where we must remain.
This can be especially important for people who feel trapped by their current circumstances.
Some people may need to change countries. They may be escaping war, persecution, serious danger, or circumstances that make it impossible to build a secure future where they are.
Others may already have made that journey. They may have left behind their language, familiar surroundings, extended family, and the life they once knew. They may now be trying to establish a home in an unfamiliar country.
For them, finding a safe place involves more than finding a roof. It may involve learning a new language, finding employment, understanding local systems, making friends, and discovering where they belong.
Other people may not need to cross an international border at all.
A family living in an expensive city may find that another town offers more affordable housing. Someone who feels isolated may benefit from moving closer to family or friends. A person who has experienced persistent problems in a neighbourhood may find a better environment a short distance away.
The scale of the move will differ, but the underlying question is similar:
Where can I build a safer and more sustainable life from here?
It is worth remembering that Nazareth was not necessarily the destination Joseph would have chosen at the beginning of the journey. Matthew tells us that the family settled there after Joseph received further guidance.
We do not know all the practical considerations that influenced his decision. But we do know that the family eventually established their life in a place different from Bethlehem and different from Egypt.
Perhaps you are in a similar period of transition.
You know that something needs to change, but you do not yet know where you will end up.
You may be tempted to wait until you feel completely certain before investigating any alternatives.
Yet sometimes clarity develops as we take sensible steps to explore our options.
You can research housing before deciding to move. You can contact potential employers before leaving your present job. You can speak to family members, seek professional advice, and investigate the support available in another area.
You do not have to make every decision today.
You can begin by asking what a safer future might look like and what practical steps could bring it closer.
And if you have already moved, you can ask a different question: how can I turn the place where I now live into a more secure, supportive, and peaceful home?
Faith is not limited to the person who is about to leave. It can also help the person who is trying to establish a new life after arriving somewhere unfamiliar.
6. How do we know when it is time to move?
This is the practical question many readers will be asking.
It is one thing to read about Joseph and Mary. It is another thing to decide whether you should leave the house, town, or country where you currently live.
Matthew 2 does not promise that everyone who wants to move will receive a dream or a miraculous sign. Nor does it mean that every difficult living situation requires relocation.
Sometimes the right response is to improve the circumstances where we are. Sometimes it is to seek help, change our financial arrangements, resolve a conflict, or strengthen our support network. Sometimes, however, the safest and wisest option is to leave.
Here are four questions worth considering.
First, what is making you want to move?
Be honest about the problem. Is it immediate danger, unaffordable housing, lack of work, isolation, family conflict, or the desire for a better future? Understanding the problem helps you identify what a new location would need to offer.
Second, what alternatives are available?
Do some research. Compare housing costs, employment opportunities, transport, schools, medical services, and access to people who can help. If you are considering moving countries, investigate immigration requirements and the legal options available to you.
Third, what provision would make the move possible?
Work out the likely costs. Consider savings, income, temporary accommodation, available assistance, and practical support. You may discover that a move you thought impossible becomes realistic when you break it into smaller steps.
Fourth, what is the next sensible step?
You may not need to decide where you will live for the next twenty years. Perhaps the next step is to make a phone call, investigate a town, speak to a housing adviser, or visit a possible neighbourhood.
Pray for guidance, but do not assume that you must wait for a supernatural sign before gathering information or taking responsible action.
And if you or your family are in immediate danger, prioritise safety and contact appropriate emergency or support services. Do not remain in danger while waiting for a clearer spiritual answer.
Joseph’s story encourages us to be attentive and responsive. He acted when he received the warning, and he adjusted his plans as new circumstances arose.
We can learn from that example without assuming that our circumstances will unfold exactly as his did.
7. A prayer for those searching for a safe place to live
Perhaps you have been thinking about moving for a long time. Perhaps you have already moved and are struggling to establish a new life. Or perhaps you are facing circumstances that have made you question whether you can safely remain where you are.
You might begin with this prayer:
“God, you know where I live and the circumstances my family and I are facing.
“If we need to make a change, please give us wisdom to recognise it. Help us see possibilities we have overlooked and remain open to help that may come from unexpected sources.
“Please guide us as we consider our options. Help us distinguish between fear and genuine danger, between an impulsive decision and a wise next step.
“If moving is the right decision, help us find the provision, information, assistance, and opportunities we need. Give us courage to leave when leaving is necessary, and patience to prepare properly when preparation is possible.
“If we need to change our plans, help us do so without being controlled by pride or embarrassment. Give us humility to recognise when circumstances have changed.
“Please help us find a place where we can live more safely, provide for our family, build healthy relationships, and have hope for the future.
“And if we have already moved, help us establish a secure home, find supportive people, and make the most of the opportunities available to us.
“Give us wisdom for today and help us take the next step we can responsibly take.
“Amen.”
This prayer is not a guarantee that every move will succeed or that every difficulty will disappear. It is a way of bringing the real decisions of everyday life before God while remaining willing to think carefully and act responsibly.
Conclusion: You may not have to remain where you are
Matthew 2 tells the story of a young family whose circumstances changed dramatically.
Joseph and Mary received provision through visitors from the East. Joseph received guidance to escape to Egypt. The family had to move to protect Jesus. Later, Joseph received further guidance, returned to Israel, and changed direction again before settling in Nazareth.
Their journey was not a simple move from one permanent home to another. It involved responding to danger, receiving new information, and adapting their plans.
That is what makes this chapter so relevant to people searching for a safe place to live.
Perhaps you need to move to another country. Perhaps you have already done so and are trying to establish a new life. Perhaps another town would give your family better opportunities. Or perhaps the answer is much closer: a different suburb, a more affordable home, or a neighbourhood where you can find the support you need.
You do not have to assume that your present circumstances are the only circumstances available to you.
Begin by identifying what needs to change. Look for the provision that may be available. Seek wise guidance. Investigate your options. And be willing to adjust your plans when new information makes a different direction necessary.
We cannot promise that God will provide a miraculous escape or reveal a destination in a dream. But Joseph’s story reminds us that protecting a family, responding to danger, and finding a place to live can be deeply connected with faith.
Perhaps the question is not simply, “How can I make my present situation work?” but also, “Could there be a safer place for me and my family, and what can I do today to begin finding it?”
You may not know the final destination yet. You may not have all the money, information, or support you need.
But you can begin looking.
And sometimes, the first step towards a safer future is discovering that you have more options than you thought.
Continue the journey: Read Matthew 3 to discover the next message of faith in Faith in Every Chapter — New Testament Sermon Series.
Faith in Every Chapter — New Testament Sermon Series
Introduction:
This sermon is part of a journey through all 260 chapters of the New Testament, exploring the message of faith in each one.
The sermon begins here…
Matthew 1: How to Save Your Marriage
When God changes the way a husband sees his wife
Sometimes a marriage can be saved without either partner becoming a different person. Sometimes the turning point comes when one person begins to see the other differently.
Matthew 1 contains a remarkable story about a marriage that was on the verge of breaking apart before it had even properly begun.
Joseph was engaged to Mary, but then he discovered something.
Joseph had a decision to make. And from the information available to him at that moment, he had every reason to believe that his relationship with Mary was over.
But then something happened that changed everything.
Joseph woke up, and his understanding of Mary changed.
Could the same kind of change save marriages today?
Could a husband who has become disappointed, angry, suspicious, or emotionally distant from his wife suddenly begin to see her in a completely different light? Could Heaven open his eyes to something he has not been able to see for himself?
I believe it is possible. And Matthew 1 gives us a powerful place to begin exploring that possibility.
1. A marriage on the verge of ending
Matthew tells us that Joseph discovered Mary was pregnant before they had come together as husband and wife.
Imagine the shock Joseph must have experienced. He had committed himself to Mary, and now he faced circumstances that appeared to contradict everything he believed about their relationship.
Matthew describes Joseph as a righteous man who did not want to expose Mary to public disgrace. He decided to divorce her quietly.
Notice something important here: Joseph was not described as a cruel man. He was a man trying to do what he believed was right in a painful and confusing situation.
Yet he was preparing to end his relationship with Mary.
This is where the story becomes relevant to marriage today.
Many marriages reach a point where one or both partners believe they understand what has happened. They have collected their evidence, formed their opinions, and reached their conclusions. They may still live in the same house, but in their minds, the relationship is already over.
A husband might think, “I know what my wife is like. I know why she does those things. I know this marriage cannot work.”
And once a person reaches that conclusion, it can become difficult to imagine anything changing.
But what if there is something he cannot yet see?
What if the way he currently understands his wife is not the whole story?
Joseph’s experience reminds us that a person can make a reasonable decision based on the information they have, yet later discover that they did not understand the situation as fully as they thought.
2. Heaven showed Joseph something he could not discover by himself
Matthew 1:20 tells us that while Joseph was considering these things, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream.
The angel told Joseph not to be afraid to take Mary as his wife, because the child conceived in her was from the Holy Spirit.
This was the turning point.
Joseph had been looking at Mary’s pregnancy from his own limited perspective. Heaven revealed a reality that he could not have discovered simply by analysing the circumstances in front of him.
Mary had not betrayed him. The very thing that appeared to be a reason to end their relationship was part of a much greater purpose.
Think about what this meant for Joseph.
Before the dream, he was preparing to separate from Mary. After the dream, he took her as his wife.
The circumstances had not disappeared. Mary was still pregnant. Joseph still had to face the questions and challenges that would follow. But the meaning of those circumstances had changed completely.
Joseph’s future with Mary changed because his understanding of Mary changed.
This is the great lesson I see in Matthew 1.
Sometimes we believe that a relationship can only be saved if the other person changes. We wait for our wife to become more loving, more understanding, more appreciative, or more like the person we think she should be.
Of course, real marriages sometimes require changes from both partners. There can be genuine problems that need to be addressed, apologies that need to be made, and behaviour that must change.
But Matthew 1 invites us to consider another possibility: sometimes the first change needs to happen in the way we see the other person.
Joseph’s problem was not solved by Mary suddenly becoming someone else. His understanding of who Mary was had been transformed.
What might happen in a marriage if a husband began to look at his wife with fresh eyes?
What if he stopped seeing only the things that disappointed him and began to see her dignity, her struggles, her good qualities, and the person she really was?
What if he became willing to reconsider conclusions he had treated as final?
A new way of seeing someone does not automatically solve every problem. But it can open a door that seemed permanently closed.
3. Joseph woke up to a new understanding
Matthew 1:24 says that when Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary as his wife.
I find that detail fascinating.
Joseph went to sleep facing the possibility of separation. He woke up with a different understanding and took a different course of action.
The dream did not merely give Joseph something interesting to think about. It changed what he did.
He did not say, “That was an interesting dream, but I have already made up my mind.”
He acted on what he had been shown.
This gives us an important question to consider: can a person wake up to a new way of seeing a relationship?
I am not suggesting that every dream is a message from God, or that a husband should make major decisions simply because he has had a dream. The point of Joseph’s particular experience is that God revealed the truth of Mary’s situation to him.
But the broader principle is worth considering. We can become so accustomed to our own interpretation of another person that we stop questioning it. We can become convinced that we know their motives, their character, and their intentions.
Sometimes, what we need most is not another argument. We need the humility to admit that our understanding might be incomplete.
A husband might pray, “God, help me to see my wife as you see her. Show me what I have missed. Help me recognise where I have been unfair, where I have misunderstood her, and where my own attitude has contributed to the distance between us.”
That prayer could be the beginning of something new.
The husband may discover that he has been interpreting every comment as criticism, every disagreement as rejection, or every weakness as proof that the marriage cannot work.
He may begin to recognise the pressures his wife is under, the pain she has been carrying, or the ways she has been trying to communicate something he has not understood.
Perhaps he will see qualities he stopped noticing years ago.
Perhaps he will realise that he has been concentrating so much on what is wrong that he has forgotten what is good.
And perhaps he will discover that, before demanding that his wife change, he needs to change the way he approaches her.
4. What if Heaven could change the way a husband sees his wife today?
This is where I want to take the message beyond Joseph’s story.
I believe there may be husbands today who are approaching the end of their marriages, yet their stories do not have to end there.
Some may be angry. Some may be disappointed. Some may have stopped expecting anything good to happen. Others may still love their wives but feel that they no longer know how to live together happily.
Perhaps they have tried talking, arguing, making promises, or repeating the same attempts to fix things. Perhaps they have reached the point where they believe nothing will ever change.
What if, instead of asking only for his wife to change, a husband began asking God to change the way he sees her?
What if he became open to discovering something he had overlooked?
What if Heaven could help him see beyond the arguments and disappointments, and recognise the person standing in front of him in a new light?
I believe this is a possibility worth praying for.
I cannot promise that every marriage will be restored, or that every husband will receive an experience like Joseph’s dream. Matthew 1 tells us about a particular event in God’s plan, not a guarantee that every troubled marriage will be transformed in the same way.
But Joseph’s story gives us a reason to remain open to the possibility that our present understanding is not necessarily the final word.
A marriage that looks hopeless to us may still have possibilities we cannot see.
A decision that seems final today may deserve another look tomorrow.
And a heart that has become hard towards another person may still be capable of softening.
Sometimes the first step towards a new marriage is not a new partner, a new house, or a completely different set of circumstances. Sometimes it begins when one person sees the person they already have beside them in a new way.
5. The first miracle may be a change of attitude
When we talk about miracles, we often think of something dramatic happening outside us. We imagine circumstances suddenly changing, problems disappearing, or an extraordinary event taking place.
But Joseph’s story also draws our attention to a change that happened within him.
He received new understanding, and that understanding changed his decision.
Before the dream, he intended to divorce Mary. After the dream, he took her as his wife.
That does not mean the rest of their life together would be effortless. They still faced enormous challenges, including the journey to Bethlehem and the danger that later forced them to flee to Egypt. But they faced those challenges together.
The relationship that Joseph was preparing to end became the relationship through which he helped care for Mary and the child Jesus.
Consider how different the future could have been if Joseph had refused to reconsider his decision.
He might have continued acting on his original understanding, never discovering what Heaven had revealed to him.
His story encourages us to leave room for God to show us something new.
In marriage, this might mean being willing to listen rather than immediately defend ourselves. It might mean looking for the good in our wife instead of continually rehearsing her faults. It might mean admitting that our own anger, pride, fear, or disappointment has affected the way we see her.
And it might mean taking a practical step towards reconciliation: speaking gently, apologising sincerely, listening without interrupting, or asking whether there is still a way forward together.
A changed attitude is not a substitute for dealing with serious problems. Trust may need to be rebuilt, and some patterns of behaviour may need to change. Where there is abuse or danger, safety and appropriate support must come first.
But where reconciliation is possible, a new attitude can create room for a different future.
6. A prayer for husbands who want to see differently
If you are a husband who is struggling in your marriage, perhaps you could begin with a simple prayer:
“God, I have become so accustomed to seeing my wife through my own disappointments that I may not be seeing her clearly anymore.
“Please help me to see her with fresh eyes. Show me what I have overlooked. Help me recognise the good in her, understand the pain she may be carrying, and take responsibility for my own mistakes.
“Where I have been unfair, help me to change. Where I have been unwilling to listen, help me to become willing. Where I have allowed resentment to grow, help me to find a better way forward.
“Give me wisdom to know what needs to change, courage to take the first step, and humility to recognise that I do not know everything about the person I married.
“If our marriage can be restored, help us find a path towards healing, honesty, trust, and love.
“Amen.”
The prayer is not a demand that God make your wife conform to your wishes. It is a request that he begin by changing what you can take responsibility for: your own attitude, understanding, and actions.
Conclusion: Could your marriage have a new beginning?
Matthew 1 begins with a relationship facing a painful crisis. Joseph believes he knows what he must do, and he is preparing to end his relationship with Mary.
Then Heaven reveals something he could not see before.
Joseph wakes up, takes Mary as his wife, and begins a future he had not expected.
The story reminds us that what appears obvious to us may not be the whole truth. Our understanding can be incomplete, and our conclusions can change when we discover something new.
I believe there are marriages today where a new understanding could make a real difference. There may be husbands who have almost given up, yet who could begin to see their wives differently. There may be couples who need more than another argument about who is right; they need humility, wisdom, and a willingness to start again.
We cannot control another person’s response, and we cannot guarantee the outcome. But we can ask God to help us see more clearly and to show us what faithful love requires of us.
Perhaps the first step towards saving your marriage is to stop asking only, “How can my wife change?” and begin asking, “God, what do you want me to see that I cannot see yet?”
Joseph woke up with a new understanding of Mary. His decision changed, and so did the future of their relationship.
May there be husbands today who also wake up to a new understanding—not necessarily through a dream, but through a fresh realisation of their wife’s worth, their own responsibility, and the possibilities that remain.
And may some marriages that seem close to ending discover that a new beginning is still possible.
Thanks for reading, I am going to do 260 faith sermons.
